JoAnne Allen - Portfolio

Return to the Land of the Living

2012-01-30T15:56:00.000-05:00

I'm back. Deeply inspired by Orphaned Blogs - a call by communications consultant Hillary Shay to return to your once fabulous, now forgotten blog - so that's what I'm doing.

It's been a long stretch since January 3rd when I got the call saying that my mother "was not going to make it." She'd been rushed to the hospital in Atlanta, suffering from what we now know was a stroke and other complications. Since then, I'm been living in limbo with my thoughts stuck on what's next and how will my siblings and I manage.

Will she awake from her non-responsive state? (she did) Will she be able to speak again? (she is) Will she be able to manage on her own again? Where will she live? And the one weighing most on me -- How will be pay for treatment and care? The unknown is a dreadful thing.

Suddenly, my life changed. Reading about the little known Social Security benefits or researching the best places for retirement, or drooling over the latest Bon Appetit recipes or planning my next dream vacation -- this one to Alaska -- with dreams nurtured by one of my favorite Lonely Planet videos on YouTube.

Now, I'm taking it one day at a time. I've accepted that there will not likely be a dream vacation this year.

I've already spent this year's vacation budget on trips back and forth to Atlanta, rental cars and hotels. I could have saved money by bunking with relatives and I did for a brief stretch -- but I needed to be alone with my thoughts. I needed to maintain my independence -- perhaps because my mother no longer has hers. I needed to be alone with my fears, to deal with my anger, my sorrow, my deep depression over what lies ahead and to try to find a way to have the tough talk with my mother about her future.

My reading list has changed. First up - Bob Mauterstock's blog "Caring for Aging Parents." It's helping me learn to cope with the inevitable, to figure out how to have the tough conversations, to return to the land of the living -- because as I've been advised in recent days by a couple of well-meaning close friends: "You can't take care of your mother if you don't take care of yourself."

I know I'll handle this, I'll manage, I'll figure it out. I'm going to learn to make the most of living in this new life that I've been handed. My mother and I are going to be just fine.

Staycation vs. vacation

2011-12-07T13:54:00.001-05:00

Kitchen Clutter

Save money. Complete my "to do" list. Clear the house of clutter. Reorganize the kitchen. Visit the tourist sites and museums that I never made time for before. Home makeover projects. Catch up on my reading. Get to bed early and sleep for eight hours. Take a few day trips.

Those were all of the things on the agenda for what was supposed to be a relaxing stay-at-home vacation.

But as it turns out, almost nothing on the list was accomplished. I did finish the first book in the very dark "Hunger Games" trilogy (here's a review) which I'd started several months earlier during my last vacation. And I did read "Barrel Child," a novel published by a colleague. And I made a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner.But most of the time was spent longingly looking at places I could have gone and mindlessly watching every episode of "Criminal Minds."

I've done nothing, I've accomplished nothing, yet I'm tired and worn out. Worse yet, half way through my vacation I was already thinking about heading back to work. Maybe things would have worked out better had I made a "staycation"plan.

On the Road in Umbria

I think you need to put your mind and body in a totally different place in order to escape the day-to-day concerns of life and reflect on living. That can't be done at home. You need a beach and warm nights. You need the lull of the ocean lapping against the shore and the sound of gentle winds rustling the branches of palm trees.

You need to see the container ships in the distance as you sip your morning coffee on the deck of your cabana by the sea. You need to tour a place where you've never been, spend an afternoon in a cooking class with an chef who barely speaks English, get lost in an unfamiliar place.

You need rejuvenation and discovery. You need distractions. You need to take your mind and body away from where you are everyday to appreciate living and the life you have at home. Or at least I do. Whenever I go away, no matter how far or exotic, I am always happy to return to my home. Returning home gives me more joy than going away. But the joy of discovery from my journeys stays with me. And that joy fuels my days until the next journey.

So I guess this staycation was a journey of discovery too. I discovered what I need in the way of a vacation. Today I start planning for the next one.

Monumental Meaning of MLK Memorial

2011-08-27T14:13:00.049-04:00

King - National Archives Photo

My mother asked me to take pictures of the newest memorial on the National Mall. It seemed like a silly thing -- until I thought about why she was asking.

The Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial was to be dedicated on Sunday -- the anniversary of his Aug. 28, 1963 "I Have A Dream" speech delivered from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial at a massive march on Washington.

And I had planned to be among the crowd for the official dedication of the first monument on the Mall honoring a black American.

But the public ceremony was postponed as Hurricane Irene churned up the East Coast, threatening to bring torrential rain and strong winds to Washington. King's Alpha Psi Alpha fraternity -- the driving force behind the monument -- held a private dedication on Friday and reading about it reminded me of my mother's request and why it's important to get there for her.

An Alpha, who grew up in Montgomery, Alabama told The Washington Post that he was honoring his mother's request to stand at the memorial for his parents.

"My mama said: ‘You know what, you gotta go stand for us. You gotta see it for us. Then, when you come home, I’ll see it in your eyes.’ It’s something.”

To be there for the parents and grandparents and so many ancestors is something I completely understand. It is why I will go for my mother and take pictures even though she can see any number of pictures on TV or on the Internet. She needs to experience it with with me, to see it through my eyes.

It's important to her and to me that I stand on the grounds of that monument and reflect on where we were in 1963 and where we are in 2011.

March on Washington - Speech starts at 23:45

So much has changed since Brown vs. Board of Education gave a young mother hope that her daughter's life would be one filled with opportunity and promise. So much has changed since the Civil Rights Act gave that young mother hope that America was on the verge of living the dream King spoke of in that speech.

So much has changed. And yet, so much hasn't. The memorial is a reminder to express gratitude to all the people who paved the way for me to simply live in dignity; to honor their sacrifices and to always be mindful of what they were up against. Washington Post columnist Colbert I. King sums it up quite nicely here in a piece on why King's life work was so important.

That's why I have to go to the memorial and stand there for my mother -- and for me.

Journey to Istanbul

2011-07-26T14:17:00.051-04:00

Thanks to my expat friends in Istanbul and their welcoming community of like-minded souls, Summer Vacation 2011 was more adventure-filled than I could have dreamed.
I'm ready for a return trip, but until that happens I'll just have to relive it all through memories. And the photos. Here are just a few (more).

Photos by JAllen on Flickr.

Nights and Days in Istanbul

2011-07-25T12:58:00.005-04:00

The Bosphorus from my favorite roof-top bar

In keeping with my "great life" theme of one fabulous vacation every year, in 2011 the destination was Istanbul.

In the immediate days preceding my departure in late June, I grew a little anxious. News about Syrian refugees flooding across the border; Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan's domestic problems and concern about my comfort zone in a culture totally foreign to me combined to give me the jitters.

But once I settled-in on my non-stop Turkish Airlines flight to the Turkish capital, I felt just fine. And when I stepped off the plane at Ataturk Airport and found my friends waiting for me with the biggest (and most artistic) "welcome" sign I'd ever seen -- I embarked on the most fun vacation I've had yet.

It'll be hard to beat this one, but I'm already planning for my next great adventure in 2012.

Here are a few vacation snapshots:

Vacation, 2011

How to be a writer... or not

2011-05-15T13:54:00.019-04:00

Woman of Mystery

The one topic I'd like to write about - I can't because I'd have to be open and honest and share way too much detail about my life and way too much personal information. Well not exactly personal but just thoughts I have that would give strangers a far more intimate portrait of who I am than what I want anyone to see. So I guess I'm not a real writer.

So

That leaves me with very little to write about except my fears, food, clothing, my garden (this year I really will plan and be more realistic -- tomatoes will not grow on my shaded balcony), my occasional forays into adventure, my vacations and that's pretty much it.

my fears -- too boring and who cares
food -- good photo ops, but maybe too overdone
clothing -- would have to pick an angle
my garden -- grows slowly but good opportunity for other media
vacations -- first trip to Turkey; that could be informative

Focus

I need to find something on which to focus -- the year-and-a-half 2012 presidential campaign could be good but for two things: as a member of the mainstream media I don't think I'm allowed to express my true thoughts and secondly... I'm already exhausted by that and it hasn't even become serious yet. We know Barack Obama will run unopposed; the Republican potential presidential hopefuls list is still filled with "seriously" names that make you just want to shout "get real, please." This might be a topic I could handle, if only I were clever.

But I don't want to work that hard.

I just want to express myself. I just want an outlet for my frustrations -- to express how depressed I became last week when I was given a piece of gossip that I absolutely can not share with anyone; a piece of gossip that slapped me in the face and woke me up to reality; a piece of gossip that made me wonder about my life choices -- not regret them, just wonder about why I chose not to open certain doors or wander down certain paths.

And now what?

At the end of this post, I'm struck by something. Unless you can insert links and multimedia into this crap it's just an online diary and nobody wants to read that.

So here's the challenge -- read this and see if there are any opportunities to link. And then settle on a topic and focus and try to have a little fun.

Road Trip and Rites of Spring

2011-03-16T15:21:00.004-04:00

Two things in my life are a sure sign that Spring is really, really here -- the trek to the Philadelphia Flower Show and the switch to Daylight Savings Time (why?). I can't be certain -- but I think that 2011 marks the first time the two have coincided. Maybe that's why the van ride with five friends felt so special this time.

2011 Flower Show Crew

Even though it's always the same.
We meet at someone's home at 8am for breakfast, pack food and reading material into the van for the drive north, stop at a Delaware welcome center for bathroom break and coffee, arrive at the Philadelphia Convention Center just before noon, tour the show, spend time in the cramped Reading Terminal Market and then lunch at Maggianos. And then drive south. (I-95 is a wonderful thing)

But this year felt different -- last year we were all in a sad state -- but trying hard to be cheerful -- because of the organizer's pancreatic cancer diagnosis. This year we were celebrating that she's still with us, a happy spirit and able to make the trip and looking as healthy as ever.

This year's flower show theme was Paris. I didn't exactly feel "Paris" coming from the exhibitions, but the flowers were more exquisite than last year. My discovery this year was not floral at all, but a frappe vino sample -- which was enough for me to buy something the vendor sold as "a party in a bag."

This year felt different -- because someone finally uttered the words that I'd been thinking for several years now. Why drive all the way to Philly to have a meal at Maggianos???

It wasn't always that way. The ritual meal used to be a steak and cheese from some famous joint on South Street. Somewhere along the way -- between the decades and the realization that greasy, cheesy sandwiches and fried onion rings were not really enhancing our physical well being -- we stopped.

Another meal at Maggiano's

The sandwich run was replaced by the late lunch-early dinner at the chain restaurant directly across the street from the market and just a block from the convention center. I suspect, though no one ever discussed it with me, that the change had something to do with the change in our own decades and an increasing desire for comfort and convenience. Why drive to another location and look for more parking and possibly encounter stuff that has to be dealt with when you can just park once and be done?

I'm ready for change again, next time instead of comfort I'd like to go for a really remarkable, memorable meal. I want to go to the Iron Chef guy's restaurant. A colleague highly recommends this tapas bar. I can picture my gal pals there sharing laughs and life over tapas and many glasses of wine and starting a new ritual.

Romney Still Mum on 2012 Presidential Run

2011-02-03T14:39:00.007-05:00

By the time Mitt Romney's "the door's still open" (and "No Apology" book promotion) tour landed at CNN Tuesday evening, the potential 2012 Republican presidential candidate had swapped the proverbial door for an option.

And he still was not answering THE question, the only thing ~~inquiring minds~~ political junkies want to know: Are you going to make another run for the White House?

White House, DCPL Commons 12/29/09

"I don't have an answer for you yet because there are a lot of things you have to consider before you make that final decision. Clearly I'm doing the things like other folks are doing to keep to the option open," the former Massachusetts governor said in an interview with CNN's Piers Morgan.

Romney -- one of John McCain's primary opponents in 2008 -- began the day with a sit-down chat on ABC's morning show and capped it with a stand-up act, a good-sport reading of the "Top Ten" list on David Letterman's Late Night show.

All the while, Romney held out the enticing tease of another campaign in 2012. (He's one of many.)

By TalkMediaNews

So why can't he tell us already?

"There are matters of health, of support, the kind of network you're going to have... the things you've got to assess before you make the final decision," he said.

The once-and-possibly-future candidate may not have "a 100 percent answer" yet.

But it appears Mrs. Romney does.

"My wife thinks I should run. She's absolutely committed. She saying 'you gotta run. You got to have somebody who understands the world of the economy, small business, who can create jobs.' She's convinced I've got to run," he said.

With no scoops to be had, Morgan invited Romney to come back when he has more to say about his decision -- and to bring Mrs. Romney with him.

Smiles Always Make Me Want To Smile

2011-01-26T21:51:00.001-05:00

Now Smile for the Cameras

Just a Little something to make me smile on this dreary, snowy evening.

Alone, with just the thoughts running through my head, I feel the need for a lift.Thanks guys!

It's Miller Time... Alaska's Endless Race

2010-12-28T00:15:00.026-05:00

I believe it was the great Louis Jordan who popularized the question: "is you is or is you ain't?"...

Of course, the American music pioneer was asking his "baby."
We'll I'd like to put the question to Joe Miller.

Alaska Range enroute to Denali by marmota

Is you is or is you ain't.... done yet?
He's no longer standing in the way of her taking a seat in the new Congress..... but he's not quite giving up his quest to wrest said seat from Lisa Murkowski.

Nine weeks after the 9/10 elections, the Alaska senate candidate who lost to Murkowski in a historic write-in campaign says he will stop trying to block her re-election from being certified.

He narrowly defeated her in the Republican primary, but she wasn't quite done yet and launched the write-in.

It's the end of the line in state court, but it's still Miller Time in Alaska, the Last Frontier.

The Tea Party-endorsed Miller says he will go ahead with a federal suit he filed last month challenging the write-in results.

"The integrity of the election is vital and ultimately the rule of law must be our standard. Nevertheless, I have also decided to withdraw our opposition to the certification of the election, ensuring that Alaska will have its full delegation seated when the 112th Congress convenes next month," Miller said on his Web site. "This decision will allow Alaskans to focus on bringing fairness and transparency to our elections process without distraction of the certification issue."

And sooo, the longest-running Senate race in U.S. history continues.

(Updated: 1/5/11 -- Miller finally ended it on the last day of the old year.)

Happy Thanksgiving - Eat, Pray, Eat

2010-11-21T21:56:00.005-05:00

Funny man George Wallace, on CNN (why?), captures my feelings about feasting on Thanksgiving -- go for it. Eat like it's your last day on earth, Wallace advises.

There's no point in sticking with the healthy eating routine on this annual holiday that's dedicated to eating if there's not going to be another day, right?

I choose to take my chance encounter with Wallace as some sort of cosmic sign, considering the sage comedian's comments came on the day that I recommitted myself to a healthy, balanced diet (with just enough caloric intake to safely shed two pounds a week -- when paired with sufficient physical activity). Or maybe I only vowed to recommit.

Whatever. Wallace's words just reached out to me on the day that I was planning ahead for how I might enjoy Thanksgiving ingesting just 12-14 food weight points? Already, I was stressing out and feeling regret over the gravy I would pass up and the cranberry cava cocktail I would turn away.

Stress be gone. I'm going to take Wallace's advice and enjoy my holiday dinner with my sister and her family. And I'm getting in gear today, by putting the brakes on thinking about what I will or (worse) will not eat for dinner four days from now. Which leaves me with a lot of time to ponder what Thanksgiving really means for my extended family - eat, pray, eat.

I know, the true story of the origin and meaning of how a simple harvest feast became this big American holiday is debatable, but that's a blog for another day. Until then, Happy Thanksgiving.

(Photo Credit: Seminole Thanksgiving Feast, circa 1955. Courtesy flickr/ State Library and Archives of Florida)

To Market, To Market

2010-11-13T20:48:00.011-05:00

So glad to be back on my Saturday Autumn routine.

Walk to the market.
Buy fruit and veggies.
Walk back home.

Exercise and healthy food for the week. Nothing like multitasking.

Now if I could just find someone to prepare the food and pack lunches and dinners for the week, I'd be one really happy person.

Here's a look at some of the sights from the market walk.

November 2010 Midterm Elections and Every Election

2010-11-02T17:02:00.001-04:00

I voted today. I walked exactly five blocks to the district precinct and stood in line for maybe five minutes before casting my vote.

I vote in every election that I can. Not because it's a privilege to do so, but because it's a duty and responsibility to my parents, my grandparents and all of the people who came before me who struggled so hard for me to be able to go into a voting booth-- without fear or intimidation -- pick up a pencil and darken a circle on a sheet of paper (or make my selection on a touch screen).

Big Reward for Casting Ballot

I can do that, thanks to the Voting Rights Act. But there's a lot of history between the struggle and the triumph of me actually being to vote. Even if there's nobody on the ballot that I feel is worthy of my vote and I still do it, because it always counts.

It counts because the right to vote and how I actually acquired it on the backs of so many who endured so much that I can't even imagine -- from marches, to protests met with violence to the resulting legislation-- are a much more powerful incentive, at least for me, than who wins or who loses an election.

Of course, I care whether my candidate of choice prevails. But on a cosmic level, the final vote tally really doesn't matter. What matters is that I had the opportunity to make the choice, the opportunity to participate in the process (whether that actually makes a difference is a subject for another day).

I always walk away from the ballot box feeling a bit wistful and proud. At that moment and for a long time afterward, I am thinking about the strength and determination of people who kept pushing, toppling obstacles like literacy tests and grandfather clauses, so that I (a Brown vs. Board of Education baby) could in 2010 cast a vote without fear, without intimidation.

I felt the same way at 18, when I nervously cast my first ballot. And I felt it again today -- great pride and responsibility in exercising a right that was so hard to get and so long in coming.

It's my honor to pay tribute to those who gave their lives to make it possible. Thank you.

Unfriend, Say Goodbye to Facebook Friends

2010-10-20T14:22:00.004-04:00

How do you know when it's time to unfriend some of your Facebook friends? And is there an easy way to do it? Those questions are heavy on my mind because, right now, some people are beginning to feel like stalkers and some people who are friends in real life are just plain annoying on Facebook.

An Internet search for the social media etiquette involved in unfriending gave me the courage to just let them go. Er, actually it was this guy:

Don't Worry About It. It's not real or meaningful or consequential or some sort of sacrifice.

If you unfriend the people you no longer want posting on your Wall, they will know it. And then you have to worry about, or at least consider, what that will do to your real world relationship. Now, I'm obsessing over the meaning of friendship.

Obsessing is a good thing. It reinforces (at least for me) the point that real world and virtual world relationships really are different and virtual world relationships should be even more precisely defined - professional versus friends and the two should never meet.

Sounds like I need to begin a really big, time-consuming project, cleaning up my social media contacts lists. Start over with new accounts, connecting with only meaningful contacts or just ignore the annoying people and let it go? I'm still thinking about it.

Friday Excursions

2010-09-25T19:38:00.004-04:00

Now that Fall has actually arrived, I celebrated with the first of what one hopes will be many Friday excursions. Yesterday a mini-roadtrip to the Western Shore. I didn't think to record the entire experience so here's just what I inadvertently captured on the Blackberry (along with a shot of the previous week's meal during my in-town excursion to the harbor)

I'm feeling a little sad that I didn't document all of my Friday excursions this year. There haven't been many. Had a hard time readjusting to normal after that two-year detour. But I'm back now and vowing to make each Friday special, because who knows how long this perk will last.

Free Fall

2010-09-10T22:25:00.003-04:00

Just like that, the mosquitoes are gone. That and the cool, brisk night are hopeful signs that the dreadful summer of 2010 may be history. I'm hopeful autumn has arrived ahead of schedule.

But this is swampland, known for Indian summers, when humidity and high temperatures suddenly return for week-long stretches at a time. Just to annoy me.

I do believe that weather has a powerful influence on mood, on behavior. I know it's had a powerful impact on my electric bills and on my psyche. Really, how many consecutive days can one listen to the drone of the air conditioning unit without going totally nuts? I do believe this has been the most miserable summer heat on record here -- or at least the most miserable one I can remember. I hope it's gone.

I can't wait to pull out my collection of fabulous boots and chic leather jackets and cute gloves. Fall is my favorite time of the year. I love my fall wardrobe and look forward to adding fashionable season updates. I love layers and the multiple tones of gray that have become the new black.

All of the tourists are mostly gone. I have my city back. The days grow shorter and the night sky is crystal clear. I'm a little sad this year, though. I think I can feel change in the air, and I'm not talking about the weather.

Martin Luther King "I have a dream"

2010-08-28T13:18:00.075-04:00

Got 18 minutes? That's all the time it takes to listen, remember and reflect -- or learn if you weren't around for the 1963 March on Washington.

It was so much more than the snippet that some people seem only to remember -- that part about the dream of people someday being judged by the content of their character, not the color of their skin. It's so much more than that.

Listen to the words. Think about the date and all of the symbolism attached (from King, back to Emmett Till, forward to Obama). This op-ed by New York Times opinionator Charles Blow explains it all.

Reading that and listening for 18 minutes helped ease an anger that had been bubbling just beneath my surface and threatening to explode.

Good to be Grown

2010-08-06T22:48:00.003-04:00

Tomato Salad with Grilled Salmon

The end of a perfect day in New York City. A frosty Italian beer and a vine tomato salad with grilled salmon, on the patio of a little place I stumbled upon near Penn Station. It was a table for one. I drank the beer and drank in the sunshine. I enjoyed my company. I love being grown.

The meal capped a very pleasant day that included a first-round interview -- for a job in New York. I left there feeling pretty good -- about the interview, about myself. I had been worried going in because I had not done any mock interviews or practiced making up answers to the scary interview questions you know are coming.

A few days ago I was feeling pretty down about turning 56. I mean, it's just four years away from 60. After allowing myself several days of feeling like life as I knew it was over and staring in the mirror willing my waistline to return to its 40-year-old-self, I have embraced the light. I'm happy finally to be grown.

As in grown folks can do whatever they want to whenever they want to, and feel no shame, no guilt and don't give a (insert expletive here) what anyone else thinks.

Today, I took the train to New York for the day -- the Acela roundtrip, because why not? I'm grown and comfort means more to me than, well pretty much everything.

A decade ago, I would have been way too concerned about spending my money. I would have taken the local to save a few dollars. I never would have given myself permission to go anywhere just for a day.

Today, I have done exactly what I felt like doing and it feels divine.

Is it grown or just decadent to buy a new pair of shoes on the way to the interview and wear them out of the store?

Independence Day with Ray

2010-07-04T13:39:00.018-04:00

What can I say?

Nothing makes me feel more American than Ray Charles singing "America the Beautiful."

I saw him perform this with the National Symphony Orchestra on July 4th on the grounds of the U.S. Capitol.

It was One of the more memorable and moving live performances I've ever experienced.

The horns blaring at the beginning and the deep sound of the kettle drums resonating at the end -- followed by the firing of cannons and then fireworks, impressive (militaristic, yes but you gotta appreciate the fabulosity of precision and showmanship -- besides my tax dollars helped pay for it).

Witnessing the genius of Brother Ray performing one of his signature songs brought tears to me eyes then and I am still moved to tears every time I hear a recording of it.

The lyrics make me sad because it is a song filled with so much promise and a vision of what we could be, could be, but never seem to be quite close to getting there.

Thanks Ray Charles for giving me hope, because without hope, and the belief that there's is a better day ahead -- what else is there?

Happy July 4th people.

EmPowered or ImPrisoned

2010-06-25T16:37:00.000-04:00

How is it possible to spend an entire day doing absolutely nothing? This is time that I could have spent organizing my life, decluttering, doing laundry, making a "to do" list so I can get things done.

But on this amazing Friday -- still in the 90s but with low humidity -- I have accomplished.... well, I got up this morning, had coffee, made a balanced breakfast, watered the plants... and that's it.

I blame it on my Apple Macbook Pro. It won't let me get anything done.

First, I check my mail and then check in with my Facebook family and then one click leads to another and pretty soon I am in Belize and then at the Spoleto Festival in Charleston, planning next year's vacations.

I am stepping away from the Mac today, unplugging from all of my devices and living in the real world -- getting my life in order so that I may live. I'm an addict, according to an Internet addiction test, I am too far gone.

On the road to recovery, I vow to spend at least one full day a week off-line, disconnected. Just as soon as I finish blogging about it.

And oh yes, I need a charging station to dock all of my devices. You know, to help get organized.

R_E_S_P_E_C_T

2010-06-23T15:05:00.000-04:00

WTF? Where's Aretha when you need to hear her demand r-e-s-p-e-c-t?

Why is it so difficult for some people to so easily disrespect others who deserve respect?

I have some wicked thoughts about the answer to my own question. But there's no time for me to rage on about this problem and where it's roots lie -- petunias must be planted.

But first -- I write on the day President Obama fired McChrystal, the general in charge of his Afghanistan war strategy, a week after some congressman named Joe Barton apologized to BP over the oil spill in the Gulf f Mexico.

Never mind that a promise was made to the people of the region by the British oil company behind the worst environmental disaster in the history of the United States (probably the worst in the history of the entire universe because they will never be able to stop the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico, which will be dead to us and there goes the beautiful turquoise water lapping against the shore of the Yucatan peninsula -- but I digress) and minutes after some idiot somewhere has just said something really stupid -- because someone is spewing idiocy all the time.

I am so thoroughly disgusted with dumb-as-brick people who have never done anything who keep deluding themselves thinking they are brighter, tougher (whatever that means), smarter, kinder, better and whatever other "er's" they can think of. You are not.

Please just shut up or go away.

Broken Vow

2010-06-08T16:29:00.005-04:00

When I was much younger, I vowed never to be one of those old broads who clamor on incessantly about life "in the old days." There was a lot of serious stuff going on but that's a subject for another day.

Today I'm feeling a little nostalgic for the stuff that was great. Maybe it was that recent awful airline experience with two lost bags -- going and coming; flights canceled for no reason; airline security lines and little ziplock plastic bags with containers of liquids of no more than three ounces each. Whatever, life has me overwhelmed right now and I'm longing for what I imagine I'm missing.

Today I'm giving myself permission to break my vow and look back fondly on the old days. Because, honestly some things really were better back in the day.

Things like:

flying comfortably and arriving without hassle
getting a good night's sleep
driving for fun
shopping for clothes
having a waistline
not thinking about what you ate
long summer break from school
customer service
no cellphones, no email, no Internet
going to the library and checking out books
three channels on television (four if you were lucky)
network news
summer days in the rocker on grandma's front porch
children who respected adults
top 40 music
dances with names

Awww, the memories and here's a little trip down my memory lane. I'd love to dance but I have to hop in the shower and get ready for another night of work.

.

Grand role model

2010-05-11T15:46:00.001-04:00

What can I say about Lena Horne?
Elegant, glamorous, talented, and a role model for accepting gracefully the rewards of age. A role model for how to be you, at whatever age. Thanks Ms. Horne, for being a living example of how wonderful growing old and wise can be.
She lived quite a life.

Lena Horne on Rosie O'Donnell

I appreciate the talent and the beauty and the public barrier-breaking. But it is the life off-stage, the tribulations endured long before I got here, the dignity and grace and quiet contributions that I treasure most about the life she lived. Ms. Horne died on Sunday. She was 92.

Lena Horne with Johnny Carson in 1982

Great Old Broad

2010-05-09T12:52:00.000-04:00

Betty White is one of my "old broad" role models. Real talent never gets old, it gets golden. No Golden Girls pun intended. She just gets better and better. She's funny and smart and really in tip-top performing mode -- at 88 and counting. Impeccable timing. And that's how I want to be: Smart enough to appreciate the rewards of age. And smart enough to appreciate what the youngsters are up too so I can continue to live in the here and now. As an "old broad in training" it is important to respect the children and let them go ahead and think they're reinventing the wheel. We know different, but we don't have to tell them. Don't laugh at them, they'll learn. Now, take a lesson from Ms. Betty.

Yes I Did

2010-05-02T16:00:00.000-04:00

Yes I survived grad school. And now that it's over, I find myself strangely devoid of feelings. Or maybe two or more feelings on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum cancel each other out. Or maybe it's just menopause.

I'm feeling a little sad because I will miss my comrades in cohort 11, the 15 wonderful men and women with whom I spent practically every Saturday for a year-and-a-half. The hermit in me would never make new friends or spend more time than absolutely necessary outside my home. Thanks guys for making it fun.

I'm feeling happy because the alarm clock never again has to rattle me at 7am on a Saturday morning when I've just closed my eyes at 2am. I always resented having to go to bed early and would start the day feeling a little cranky and a lot anti-social. Thanks to old-school soul music on WPFW on the drive across town, my mood would be lifted (just a bit, though) by the time I slid into my seat in the classroom and plugged in my Mac.

I'm feeling a little deflated because I had expected to be filled with joy, having completed a really big thing because I never finish anything. (The prep material I bought to repaint the bathrooms is still in the bag -- two years later.) I'm not feeling the joy, or relief or sense of accomplishment that I need to be experiencing right about now. When does that kick in? What if it never kicks in?

Mostly, I'm feeling that the last 18 months were a blip, some sort of dream and I'm awake now, sitting in the same spot. And now I'm supposed to move on. But I don't know what I'm supposed to move on to, except Umbria at the end of the month. So now, I'm officially working on the summer vacation plan.

After that? We'll see.

20 Months

2010-04-24T10:09:00.008-04:00

Exactly one week from today, I'll be starting the beginning of the end of this adventure called grad school. It been great -- but I am so ready to have my life back.

Getting up every Saturday at 7 am -- Not Great
Working 6 days a week for 20 months -- Not Great
Homework on top of my real work -- Not Great
Every vacation a "staycation" -- Not Great

Despite all of that, I've loved spending this time with a really fine and talented and fun and generous bunch of people every week. Imagine what hell life would have been if it had been a less cohesive unit.

I've learned a lot from patient classmates (like how to work well in a group). And I suppose it helps a lot that they're the kind of people I can have a beer with at the end of every course.

I'm happy the end is approaching, but feeling not quite satisfied. I don't feel like a master of anything, but I've learned so much: mostly that I'm a visual person (okay not a photographer, or videographer but I have a great eye); and I really do enjoy the production process (i really miss radio) and although it makes me crazy, crazy, crazy to put my byline on stuff, I am not a half-bad writer. That's what I've shelled out tens of thousands of dollars to discover about myself.

Long Time Coming

2010-03-23T20:23:00.009-04:00

It looks like Spring has sprung and another class is down -- only a few more Saturdays left.

I still don't have a finished project, or a finished portfolio and I'm nervous, really nervous, about the practical but I'll manage. I can't believe that I am almost done with grad school. I am very proud of having gotten out of the house every Saturday for nearly 2 years to work at remaking myself into a multimedia specialist. That's what I am going to call myself

from now on -- writer and multimedia specialist. I can't wait to graduate on May 8th or 9th or whenever it is. I'm excited about putting on a cap and gown and marching with my cohort because I am so proud of my achievement. I was not going to participate in the ceremony -- at first. But I got to thinking -- I have to show myself appreciation for what I've done. It's like the veep said today -- "It's a big f#^Y#* deal."

I'm S(n)o(w) Over It

2010-02-10T08:42:00.013-05:00

This must be what it's like to be lost in a blizzard, or facing the end of life as we know it or living in Siberia.

Five days ago it snowed, dumping three feet of the stuff on us and it started again last night. This morning, it's still coming down -- and it's windy.

At first it was beautiful (still pretty) and wondrous and filled me with joy -- like a kid on a snow day.

But I'm so over it now. Now, I'm just weary -- and praying real hard that I don't lose power, making mental notes about where the candles, and lamp oil and flashlight are stored.

"Democracy Now" is running an excerpt from the Juan Gonzalez documentary on the history of Haiti, putting the post-earthquake reaction, reconstruction in perpspective. It's making me sad and angry.

But it abruptly shakes me out of the "woe is me, snow is boring me" mood in which I began this day. It reminds me, this snow thing is just a winter thing -- and it will be over soon.

Not So Good Vibes

2010-01-03T11:17:00.006-05:00

What is everybody so angry about?

No doubt somebody else wrote even before then that Americans were angry, angrier than ever. Why are you people never satisfied?

Seems to me that if everyone who is mouthing off about whatever would shut up and do something, anything, one little thing -- then we'd all be on the road to a better existence. Whatever that is.

This "angry Americans" theme isn't new. Texas Congressman and former Republican presidential wannabe Ron Paul wrote back in 2006 that Americas were angrier than he'd ever seen them. (I couldn't finish reading it, cause it just made me sooo angry).

I'm so tired of everybody complaining all the time. Shut up, get up or get out and DO something. (And blogging doesn't count.) It doesn't take money to make a tiny improvement in a school, in a life, in a neighborhood. All it takes is time and we've all got plenty of that -- because most of us are just sitting around wasting it.

The next time somebody complains about ANYTHING, just ask them: "What have you done today to change it?"

Then enjoy the silence.

A Cheap Holiday Greeting

2009-12-19T20:59:00.003-05:00

I love free apps... but the ads suck. I am thinking about springing for the 3 bucks to make cards without the ads. We'll see

Make a Smilebox slideshow

At Home on the Night Shift

2009-11-18T22:39:00.013-05:00

First turn on the Player for music to read this blog by.

What exactly do people do at home in the evening? I ask because I work nights, and have done so pretty much all of my work life. I am at home tonight. I took the night off -- just because. When I signed myself out a week ago, I thought that it would be great to be at home on a weeknight and, well, feel normal. Strangely, I don't.

I don't quite know what to do with myself. I sought help on the Internet and found a list of 10 fun things to do at home, but the suggestions were pretty cheesy.

I can hear the Commodores singing: "Gonna be a long night, it's gonna be all right on the nightshift You found another home, I know you're not alone on the nightshift" (of course, they're singing about dead people, but you have to admit it's nice and mellow -- so 1980s)

I should be doing homework (not housework), but that would be a waste of a night off. I tried watching television, but I hear there's nothing good on and it just feels odd. I thought about cooking and setting the table and having a real meal at the dining room table as opposed to at my desk, but I am not really hungry and I'd have to do dishes.

I thought of organizing some stuff in my house, but that's a chore than can be put off for a regular day at home (besides it is so boring).

I thought of going to see a movie, but that would require me to get dressed and I don't want to think about style or coordination. I thought about playing the piano, but my neighbors are at home and I don't want to annoy them.

I don't know what to do at home on a weeknight. Or maybe, I've got it all wrong.
Why do I have to do anything at all? Why not just sit here, be still and enjoy it?
Because in about five minutes, I'm going to be nuts.

Surviving School - Is it Possible?

2009-11-02T15:10:00.014-05:00

"Keeping fit physically and mentally is very important because it will allow us to have energy to pull through the whole program."

Words of advice from a certain doctor offering advice for old people who are going (or thinking about going) back to school.

How do you keep fit physically when every waking hour is consumed by school work and house work and work work? If anyone can tell me how to work in the three hours that it takes to work in a one-hour work out at the gym, I'll pay big bucks -- but only if it the plan actually works. And working out at home is hard to work in to, because why waste an hour that you could spend studying?

Keeping fit mentally -- I fear nothing short of drugs can keep me on the right track and prescription help is way too costly. Forget about eight hours of sleep -- that's not going to happen.

Help!

Update:
I've decided to help myself by visualization -- imagining how I'm going to treat myself with a trip to Belieze when school's over.

Health Care, Punches and Perks

2009-10-01T19:14:00.013-04:00

It had been getting ugly for a long time... but only one side had been showing up for the health care reform fight.

Until now.

Can't want for the next round. We better get a bill soon or somebody's gonna get hurt.

Hope the injuries are not bad enough to send them scurrying for medical help -- unless they're a member of Congress (public employees, meaning we pay their salaries), who have some sort of exclusive ultimate platinum care plan. And I emphasize exclusive.

Eat your heart out (not literally, please) while trying to wrap your head around an ABC News report on the perks, including possibly the best government-run health care system in the universe.

(Rep.) Joe Wilson's Apology

2009-09-10T18:36:00.010-04:00

"I let my emotions get the best of me."

That's how South Carolina Republican Joe Wilson explains how he came to call President Barack Obama a liar in the middle of the president's healthcare speech to Congress Wednesday evening.
Wilson shouted "You lie!" when Obama said his plan would not insure illegal immigrants.

Take a look, the outburst comes at about 2:16 on the video and check out Biden and Pelosi reactions:

It was a stunning breach of Capitol decorum in a setting where disagreement with a president generally is shown by withholding applause or remaining seated when others stand for an ovation.

Wilson's heckling did not go over well with Democrats and drew censure from some in his own Republican Party, including the candidate Obama defeated in November to become president, John McCain.

"Totally disrespectful. No place for it in that setting, in any other and he should apologize immediately," the Arizona senator said on CNN's "Larry King Live" shortly after Obama finished speaking.

Wilson did apologize, issuing the following statement:

"This evening I let my emotions get the best of me when listening to the president's remarks regarding the coverage of illegal immigrants in the health care bill. While I disagree with the president's statement, my comments were inappropriate and regrettable. I extend sincere apologies to the president for this lack of civility."

The congressman says he called the White House to personally apologize to Obama. Wilson said he expressed his apologies to White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel.

Update: On Thursday, the South Carolina congressman seemed to back away from his apology, telling reporters the Republican leadership made him do it.
Wilson's website was still "down for maintenance" late in the afternoon-- it had been down since his outburst last night.

Obama took the high road, brushing it off, at least publicly ("We all make mistakes.")

There were also reports that the outburst has been a boon to Wilson's Democratic opponent in the South Carolina's 2nd District congressional race -- Robert Miller, a retired Marine and Iraq veteran.

Is it Autumn?

2009-09-03T13:10:00.003-04:00

I don't know when Fall officially starts but I don't care because the past few days and today are my vision of what the most perfect autumnal season would be. No humidity, High 70s, windows wide open at night -- and best of all -- NO air conditioning.

Maybe I'll have an electricity bill this month that's not in the three figures.

Tomorrow, I'm dropping the top on the car and hitting the road on a day trip -- looking for a body of water and some wide open space. Or find a spot to sip espresso at an outdoor cafe and read Vanity Fair while planning the fantasy fall shopping spree that I am never going to take.

I want to idle away the time without a timepiece or cellphone and without reservations. I want the day to last forever.

I want to breathe in every minute of wonderful weather and enjoy the feel of the wisp of the gentl autumn-like breeze

..... before it disappears and the dreaded Indian summer returns for one last scorcher.

The Last Kennedy Story

2009-08-30T13:54:00.009-04:00

Having just completed a video class, I really enjoyed watching this piece by the Washington Post . Of course, it was done by a team -- several shooters and two editors, with material from the news pool.

Nice job of backpack journalism. I hope someday to produce work this good.

Kennedy and Memories

2009-08-28T18:05:00.024-04:00

My earliest memory of what it means to live in Washington was made on a bitter cold November morning when my father took us kids to Memorial Bridge to see President Kennedy's funeral procession as it inched toward Arlington National Cemetery.

Arlington National Cemetery

It was freezing and we must have complained because I remember my father explaining that we were there because "this is history." I did not appreciate it then. But years later, I came to understand what he meant. I treasure that day and I love the majestic city and all that it symbolizes. (Yes, I know we don't always live up to its promise, but I keep hoping.)

Tomorrow, I probably will not make the trek to the bridge. But I do intend to walk to the East Front of the U.S. Capitol where congressional staff will pay one last tribute to Sen. Edward Kennedy as his funeral procession makes its way to Arlington.

It seems only fitting. The death of Edward Kennedy brings to an end an era, not only in my life, but in the life of a nation. Yes, the brother was president and the other brother spoke eloquent words about civil and human rights that deeply touched a wildly optimistic young girl in the '60s.

But this Kennedy touched so many people in Massachusetts, his home state, and so many lives here in Washington, and people across the country in extraordinary ways that I had never heard before his death. It seems everyone has a personal story about a side of him that was not public. Those stories make me appreciate him more.

The passing of this Kennedy has also touched me in a way I never would have imagined. I didn't know how to express what it was I'm feeling until Washington Post columnist Eugene Robinson put it so eloquently on MSNBC and again in today's column. It's about a life, warts and all, that in the end, was lived with purpose.

I am touched because this Kennedy -- through his good works, his misdeeds and misfortunes, his family's tragedies and triumphs -- has been a presence in American life for half a century. Five decades. My life.

And now he's gone.

Happy Birthday Baby

2009-07-30T02:09:00.004-04:00

That would be happy birthday to me, as I face the wee hours of the morning. Feeling somewhat sad.
The nephew will be off to Berkeley law school before dawn. He'll become a rich lawyer and I'll never see him again. But it's okay. I taught him well and it's time for him to go out into the world and create his own life. God speed.

It's been fun having him in my orbit for three years. But I have to wonder whether these 20 pounds I've picked up would have found some other body.

My other nephew has relocated to Columbus, Ohio. I don't want to lose touch but I don't want to force him to keep in touch by sending emails. He's such a good kid. He always responds. And bless his little heart, he's extended an open invitation for me to visit any time. I wonder whether he really means it.

The niece is such an independent young lady. She eyeing grad school -- finance to go along with her accounting degree. I'm so proud of her. Smart and beautiful. And very kind but not a push over. I love her strength. She'll be fine.

The little one called a week ago to say happy birthday. He was a week early, but I have to give him credit for thinking of me. I can't take credit for raising him right -- that's all mom. He's such a sweetie.

I have my life back, having sorta raised three amazing kids. I'm looking forward to a little "me" time.

Shatner Does Palin (07/27/09)

2009-07-28T18:36:00.001-04:00

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

It's My Party

2009-07-10T14:55:00.007-04:00

The Birthday countdown is underway.

It got started a little late this year. I think it was because of the July 4th Holiday falling on a weekend. Bottom line is my usual 30 days of celebration is now down to 20 and kicking off today. Another glorious summer day, no humidity and only a slight chance of rain ordered up just for me, of course. I love summer and I am a happy July baby.

I will fire up the grill to put the finishing touch on my favorite ribs, turn up I-Tunes and have a pale ale on the balcony while I plan a special treat for myself on everyday for the rest of the month. Because that's what I do. I am making up for all of the years of not realizing how deserving I am.

My most memorable celebration -- in beautiful Isla Blanca, Mexico, ten years ago, sleeping in a palapa at the edge of the ocean in a tiny "resort" with maybe 6 other people. I shared a birthday with one of the women from Arizona who wee in the cottage next door. My gift that year was the nightly gaze into the star-splattered sky. No artificial lights anywhere nearby, nothing to detract from the starlight. I'd never seen anything so amazingly beautiful. The resort doesn't exist anymore. I think it got blown away by a hurricane.

I don't recall birthday parties from my childhood (except the one I had once where I am sure I resented sharing the limelight with cousins Arthur, whose birthday is on the 31st; and Mike, whose birthday is on the 29th). Were we too poor to afford birthday parties or was it another one of the concepts my parents just didn't believe in -- like toys for Christmas (I always got useful stuff, like books, watches and underwear) or television?

Or maybe, it was me who balked at parties because I was never really a social creature and probably a scary, weird little kid who would have thought such things way to childish to endure.

Whatever. I know now I missed way too much and that one can never celebrate oneself too much -- or have too much fun -- or take life too seriously. That's why marking my birthday is now a month-long celebration. Welcome to the party.

Michael Jackson and Memories

2009-07-07T12:15:00.022-04:00

Okay, everyone has had their say about Michael Jackson, king of pop, master showman and all-around curious little man.

Now it's my turn. Let me say, he had a very interesting life. But in the end, he went out a lonely, sad, pathetic person who never seemed to have lived at all. I don't want to go out like that. Another reminder that money, fame, tons and tons of adoring fans and a three-thousand-acre California hideaway will not cure what ails you.

Today, the world is saying farewell in an extravagant LA memorial service. Like everything about his life, it's over the top. One billion were expected to watch a live broadcast and some news organizations were live-blogging, no doubt drawn by the promise of a star-studded lineup. I won't be among them.

I hope somewhere the poor soul is enjoying a moment of peace and the joy of solitude -- and I hope he's found whatever it was he was seeking. God knows he deserves it. After all those years of being this strange creature, neither man nor boy, (or years of just projecting that image, who really knows?) and ALL of those tiresome transformations, it's time to give it a rest. For all of our sakes.

Did he molest little boys or was he a little boy who never had a childhood and just enjoyed being around little boys? Did he hate being black and tried through endless bad and worse surgeries to become white? Was he trying to look like a white woman or a light-skinned Diana Ross? What was up with that creepy speaking voice? And did he ever dress down, or dress normal, like putting on a pair of jeans for a quick trip to the grocery store? (Okay, maybe not that last one.)

He broke barriers in the music biz, I'll give him that. He was said to have contributed a lot of money to charity. Well, good. He made some great music (my favorites: The Way You Make Me Feel, Who's Loving You, Don't Stop til You Get Enough, PYT, I'll Be There, and the little known Liberian Girl). He was an electrifying dancer and his music made me want to dance.

Michael is, was, and always will be an enigma to those of us who knew him from afar. And from what I'm seeing on the TV now, it seems he was pretty much an enigma to people who were close to him -- or claim they were. There are an awful lot of portraits being painted.

For me, MJ -- and by extension The Jackson 5 -- was one of those amazing things from my 60s youth that seemed magical in a period when we were evolving into beautiful and proud black people and it was so huge to see then-contemporary black artists on television FOR THE FIRST TIME.

So I'm grateful to a ten-year-old Michael Jackson and his brothers for providing part of the soundtrack (ABC, I Want You Back) as I danced those years away. I am grateful for the magic of his youthful onstage performances. And with his death, I am grateful to hear the old music and to have memories of a wonderful time in my life rekindled. Thanks. Now Beat It.

Saturday Night Barely Live

2009-05-23T22:05:00.006-04:00

I'm back and loving Vimeo. Nice video, although I think it's all done by pros. So nice to relax on a Saturday. Exactly one year from this month, school will be done or I'll be. Have a glass of wine, begin the countdown and contemplate what's next. That's what I'm doing. In the meantime, contemplate this:

CANARIAS TIMELAPSE from luis garcia de armas on Vimeo.

Always Tomorrow

2009-04-29T17:19:00.011-04:00

Tomorrow. I will make a list of all of the things I intend to do tomorrow -- today, let us think about tomorrow and have a little fun.

Now that I am inspired... tomorrow:

I will iron the shirts and blouses stashed away in the drawers and closet because maybe if I ironed I actually might have something to wear tomorrow.

And then I will exercise for an hour because I know I need to and maybe my clothes will fit again and I won't have to iron or clear the closet of all of those great outfits I am going to fit into again tomorrow.

And then I will pick up one of the dozen books piled up on the bedside table and read again because I never make time to finish them because I am always going to set aside an hour for reading tomorrow.

And then I will paint the bathroom because it's a quick way to change the look without spending a lot of money and I will do it now because I never made time to do it after I bought the paint supplies ages ago and made plans to do it tomorrow.

And then I will clean house tomorrow because I can't stand the clutter. Oh wait, the cleaning people came this week. So I don't have to clean tomorrow. I can't do anything tomorrow because I don't want to undo what they did.

So I'll just sit on the balcony tomorrow, watch my herb garden grow and think about all of the stuff I will do, should do, and probably won't do, the day after tomorrow.

Contain Yourself

2009-04-16T13:50:00.026-04:00

Welcome back sunshine. It's 60 degrees today and it finally looks and feels like Spring. My soul is lifted. Three Sunday brunches in a row -- one long-standing tradition, one new invite and one new restaurant. The taxes are done and filed on time, despite major snafu involving old company and stock. Beware of mergers!!! Twelve-page research paper is almost done, save for the "research" that needs to be added.

Life is good and now it's time to reward myself with the annual spring container garden planting ritual.

I got a head start last weekend, planting -- or rather placing -- miniature root balls purchased at the Philadelphia Flower show. So in a few weeks, I should have lots of basil and some black-eyed susans. I also bought a flowering maple which will be interesting because I have never seen one of those before. When I bought it, it had beautiful tiny peachy-colored blooms. But they soon fell off and I've seen no more.

The color theme this year will be golden yellow and purple -- very dramatic jewel tones. The plan was to do all herbs, you know, something useful (it's the recession gnawing at me). But I need vibrant color on the balcony.

photo: apartmenttherapy.com

I will add a grape tomato plant to the mix and something that will flower well into fall. More basil and rosemary and lemongrass and lavender, oregano and sage. Makes me hungry just thinking about it. And it makes me smile to think of the joy I always find in the beauty of my compact garden on the balcony.

It Must Be Spring... well almost

2009-03-14T23:35:00.015-04:00

Here's how I know that Spring is just around the corner -- last Saturday was the last day of the 2009 Philadelphia Flower Show and just as I've been doing -- off and on -- for years, I joined some friends in the City of Brotherly Love for the event.

It's the same every year. The theme of the show, the biggest indoor flower show in the country --if not the world-- changes. The theme this year was "Bella Italia."

But let's face it, once you've seen one gardenia, hydrangea, succulent, iris, tulip, African violet, etc., etc., you've seen them all. However, it is still a sight -- amazing what some people can do with flowers.

Have a peek inside (courtesy of someone identified only as gkfe):

The annual trip to Philadelphia with my friends is not about the destination. It's about the journey.

A two-hour ride up in a mini-van, a speed viewing of the show, a quick pass through Reading Terminal Market, a late lunch at a chain restaurant (remember it's the journey), the ride back home (after my friend picks up Philly cheese steaks to take home to her husband) listening to our favorite music as night falls. That's it, the same way every time.

It's a ritual among this circle of women, a celebration of our friendship, a bonding of kindred souls. Always memorable, but not too mushy. And there's always a great story to tell about it later.

Leave Me Alone

2009-02-11T13:19:00.014-05:00

This is how I know I will never give up my car (ok, so it's a luxury convertible -- but that's not the point).

I hate public transportation. The key word here is "public." I never take the bus and hardly ever use cabs. That leaves the subway, which really is the best way to get around on weekdays.

As convenient as it is (if you live in the heart of the city, as I do), I hate it. I hate being trapped underground with strangers. I especially hate being trapped in a subway car with strangers getting way too close. Strangers on the subway are just stranger than strangers on the street and you can not escape them once the subway doors shut.

Some people are babe magnets. Me, I am a magnet for strange people who ride the subway.

Today's encounter. A wild-eyed wild-haired middle-aged woman enters my car screaming at someone behind her -- only there's no one behind her. The car is half empty, but she plops down in the row of seats next to mine.

I can hear her mumbling angrily, at a level that in audible only to me. I casually turn to check out my surroundings -- in case I have to make a police report later. But I'm really stealing a glance at her and I believe she knows it. She glaring at me with mean eyes and still talking.

Thankfully, it will be a short ride, three subway stops. Of course, she exits at my stop, still mumbling. I give her some distance and head for the stairs opposite the ones she's taking. I'm relieved and just a little ashamed and feeling a bit silly.

The woman was carrying a brief case, a very nice purse and wearing a really cool black leather jacket. Maybe what I'm seeing is just her defense technique, one that's far more effective than the IPod I use. One that screams: "Don't Mess With Me."

I mean, really, who's going to bother a middle-aged, wild-eyed, wild-haired woman muttering angrily to herself?

Do Overs

2009-01-25T16:39:00.002-05:00

Just how many do overs does it take before this weight loss thing takes hold? I'm officially overweight. My clothes no longer fit and I keep buying new ones for the old body. I keep starting a new food diary every week it seems. But I can't make it to the end of the week before some event, like the inauguration -- when I had three people staying in my home for five days. It's impossible to maintain my healthy eating routine when you're trying to be a good hostess. I also find it impossible to keep up my exercise routine -- to difficult to squeeze in an hour at the gym without carefully arranging my daily schedule. So here I go again. Taking another "do over." Starting today, with dinner prepared for the week, beginning a new food diary page and swearing that I am going to drink 8 glasses of water a day and not buy any 85 percent cocoa dark chocolate.

Tis the Season

2008-12-25T19:38:00.034-05:00

I am at home on Christmas and at peace -- listening to my favorite holiday CDs and sipping pomegranate mimosas and basking in the beauty of my fabulous fake Christmas tree -- just as I planned. I had expected to be depressed right about now, having decided to sit this one out -- no shopping, no sales, no headaches in January when the credit card bills arrive. I waited and waited, all day yesterday, all day today -- but the depression never arrived. The one in my head -- not in the economy. I'm enjoying the pleasure of my company, alone on the biggest holiday of the year -- when everyone expects you to participate and like it. And guess what, I'm not feeling guilty about not getting bigger and better gifts for everyone in the family and thinking they'd be disappointed because I didn't come through.
It helps that half of the nieces and nephews are now adults and the other half no longer believes in Santa. The pressure is off. It feels great to have a holiday free of consumer-driven angst. Free of the need to contribute to making the retailers' fourth quarter a little more profitable. Free of anger when the perfectly planned festivities don't go quite the way you planned, perhaps like the gunman in a Santa suit who shot up a party in Los Angeles. There was plenty of incentive not to join the crushing crowds of shoppers. The crumbling economy did coincide with my decision to sit out Christmas but that's not why I did it. I did it because I can and I wanted to.
Today I'm packing away all the painful memories of those awful Christmases past -- year, after year, after year. Good riddance! This is for all of the Christmases of my youth -- when once the presents were unwrapped, I'd feel empty and angry and for all the Christmases of my younger adult life, when I'd feel disappointment after all of the presents were unwrapped or there were no presents or the presents were the goods I coveted -- "Bye-Bye." I am so done with the Christmas blues. But Charles Brown's bluesy holiday classic, "Merry Christmas Baby," will always be a favorite of mine.

Build Your Own Brand

2008-12-06T14:58:00.036-05:00

Guest speaker John Bell had some good advice for working journalists who may be facing a shaky future as big media companies shed jobs. Journalists should consider doing their own thing, Bell advised. If you expect to make a living as a journalist in the future you can't afford not to build your own brand, he told Public Communication and Interactive Journalism students on Saturday.

Bell pointed to
The Huffington Post -- with its impressive roster of editors and correspondents -- as an example of what entrepreneurs can do. Bell described the site as a collection of personal brands publishing under a single banner.

John Bell, Ogilvy
photo courtesy, Michael Flynn

Self-branding and being your own boss is great. But while you're waiting for your brand to take off, consider embracing the change that is sweeping the industry.

Freelance journalist Mark Glaser says the loss of traditional journalism jobs is offset by a rise in opportunties in digital media.

When The New York Times said last winter that it was
slashing 100 newsroom jobs, company still had plenty of openings for digital jobs, Glaser writes in a "Mediashift" article on PBS.org.

Finding John Bell

2008-12-06T14:51:00.006-05:00

Check out John Bell online. Here's his personal Web page displaying a lengthy network list. It's all of the places where he can be found on the Internet.
And according to the Web site ://URLFAN, which charts popularity in the blogosphere in real time,
Mr. Bell is an extremely popular guy.
This shows what you have to do to get your "brand" out there.

Social Media Optimization Rules

2008-12-06T14:37:00.006-05:00

John Bell showed us the 5 rules of Social Media Optimization (SMO) from the the Influential Marketing Blog where you can see more detailed explanations.

Here are four of them:

Increase your linkability
Make tagging and bookmarking easy
Reward inbound links
Help your content travel encourage the mashup

Sorry, I missed the fifth one. Our guest speaker had moved on while I was spellchecking.

A Mattress Strategy

2008-12-06T14:26:00.016-05:00

PR executive John Bell told a combined session of the Public Communication and Interactive Journalism classes that his team aggregated consumer comments about one of the product he has helped sell. He said he found that a lot of people were talking about the Sleep Number Bed but most of them were not influential in terms of helping to market the brand. Consumer comments -- both good and bad -- were pulled together as part of a marketing strategy -- with "influencers" generating buzz across digital platforms. Bell said his team also used the photo hosting Web site Flickr and YouTube to as part of the Sleep Number Bed marketing strategy.

Check out this Sleep Number Bed Ad on YouTube

Word of Mouth Marketing

2008-12-06T14:00:00.009-05:00

John Bell, an executive vice president at the public relations firm Ogilvy, is an expert on "word of mouth marketing." I had not heard the term before he talked about it in our animated discussion with students in the American University School of Communications Masters program.

Bell said word of mouth marketing has become hugely relevant because of the economic down turn. The more ways you can find to spread the word about your products or clients at the smallest cost possible seems to be what he's talking about. So different people, in all kinds of ways can be a factor in influencing how consumers learn about products.

Bell said Ogilvy is "really good" at figuring out who's influential and good at identifying networks of people. Bell said his team gets the "influencers" involved so they will want to share information "word of mouth" through social networks.

It did not occur to be until after he'd gone that this sounds a lot like "word of mouth advertising." I'll have to do some research to find out whether it is new technology that distinguishes the two concepts.

Public Relations Executive John Bell talks about "Word of Mouth Marketing"

All My Children

2008-11-29T17:02:00.026-05:00

I'm meeting Nephew's new girlfriend tonight.

I feel sorry for her because she's being sized up by his sister, my niece's best friend, the other nephew and me. No pressure there. These are my children. Well, that's how I think of them. I'm grateful to my brother and sister for raising these amazing little people so that they are comfortable in my orbit.
These are the children I would have had, had I had children. In their own way, each of them is scarily like me. So I'm confident that the girlfriend will be treated with respect. She might even have as much fun as I do when I'm with this crew, just hanging out.

Other Nephew, Niece, Niece's Best Friend, Auntie J
I love the company of these young people, all 20-somethings, all optimistic, all opinionated and all very smart. Well, smart about some things.
Niece and Best Friend plan to move to a major city now after spending the college years in a mid-size southern city. They're looking for a two-bedroom apartment, in the major city, to share. "How much do you plan to spend on rent?" I asked recently. They both replied: "$500 or $600 each."
I take them very seriously, so I did not laugh.
Should I break the news to them about the high cost of living in the big city?
No, they're pretty smart. They'll figure it out.

Music and Memories

2008-11-23T15:32:00.041-05:00

Driving home yesterday, listening to music from my youth as usual, Freda Payne's "Bring the Boys Home" came on the radio. As I was loudly singing along, I remembered how my older cousin used to make my younger sister and me sing background to her lead to this song.
I was maybe 15 or 16. While we were joyfully harmonizing badly, pretending we were on stage, none of us gave any thought at all to the lyrics. It was the early 70s. The Vietnam war was still raging. We were kids having fun. We still had 45s.
And Payne's poignant plea was simple: "Bring the boys home, bring them back alive... why don't you turn the ships around... everybody ought to lay your weapons down." Or at least, that's the way I remember the words.
Forty years later, two wars in progress. The lyrics are still relevant. This time, as I'm singing along, still off-key, it's not so joyful anymore.

And for the youngsters (and the hopelessly nostalgic), here's a look back at the 45 experience.

What Was I Thinking

2008-11-17T16:12:00.019-05:00

This going-back-to-school thing was a great idea, but strangely, it has turned out to be much more challenging than I'd imagined. It's not the work or the reading or being in class all day on Saturdays that has been difficult. It's the change in my usual routine -- and I'm still trying to adjust. I deeply resent having to go to bed early on Friday nights so that I can wake up by 7am. Friday nights were my time for watching movies from
Netflix, drinking my favorite
sparkling wine and just hanging out in my space. Saturdays were reserved for late afternoon visits to Eastern Market, after the morning tourist crowds had thinned out. And Saturday evenings were spent cooking fabulous meals from scratch, drinking more sparkling wine and dancing to the oldies and Caribbean music programs on WPFW, the local Pacifica Radio affiliate. Now it's early to bed on Fridays and early to bed on Saturdays because I'm too beat to do anything else. I dream of the time when, after Spring 2010, I'll be able to plan a vacation. In the meantime, photos from my last pre-school vacation, a visit to
Paris, have become so much more meaningful to me. Who knew that would be my last excursion for a long, long time.

Here are a few of those pictures

Oh, Joy

2008-11-12T19:59:00.006-05:00

I fretted for days over where I would take newly-nine year-old Jamal to celebrate his birthday. What would we do and where would we dine? It would be the first time that Jamal and I would spend a day together, just the two of us.
I figured the little one would want a grownup meal in a nice restaurant. Would we do Mexican, Italian, Pizza or even Chinese?
I need not have worried. After a 3-D dinosaur film at
the Museum of Natural History, all he wanted was a hamburger, fries and a lemonade from a food kiosk on
the National Mall. That was his big adventure and fun break from his mom's healthy eating regimen.
We sat down on the grass and shared his burger and fries. It was then that I got it. The kid didn't care where we ate or what fun things Auntie J would have lined up for him to do. It was enough that we were just hanging out together.
On that day, I didn't have a schedule to meet or anything to cross off of my "to do" list. I gave myself permission to have a Dove ice cream bar and chatted with Jamal about everything and nothing. He gave me the gift of total relaxation and the kind of joy I had forgotten how to conjure at will.
I gave him a new junior basketball.

Is it Hot in Here or....

2008-11-11T19:17:00.003-05:00

Is it me or is hot in here? I love the brisk days and winter-cool nights. Mostly because of layers. Scarf, Sweater, Shirt, Tank. And that's just for the upper portion of the body.
Layers Rock. The more I pile on the easier it is to stay warm in the office. And the easier it is to peel it all off when -- just like that -- the temperature drops sharply and you have to put all that stuff back on again. I have a space heater beneath my desk and have seriously considered a fan for the desktop. Throughout all of these mini-climate changes, the thermostat doesn't change. It's just me. I read someplace that it's the body's, or rather the female body's, internal thermostat trying to adjust itself. To What? And why? And how long does it take?
Excuse me, I need to take off my scarf and and my sweater and my boots.
It's hot in here.

The Same Rules Don't Apply

2008-11-08T14:25:00.011-05:00

The Root is not a traditional news Web site, assistant managing editor Lynnette Clemetson said.
It's a site that delivers material with a voice, she said. It's an opinion page and you should not strive to put "balance" into it, she told the Writing for Converged Media class.
"It's just the facts and it's the way people feel," she said.
"The one thing we do guard against is pieces that don't have an argument," she said. "We debate."

How the Root takes hold

2008-11-08T14:17:00.004-05:00

It's an interesting thing to grapple with as a niche Website, relationships with partners and other audiences who may not be in your target group and generate a very different response, Lynn Clemetson told our class on Saturday.

You have to open yourself up to all kinds of "hateful" comments on some of the biggest pieces published in TheRoot.Com.

In the end, she says, you can't cut off the comments because "it would be out of sync" with what the Web is about to turn the comments off."

After all, the Web is egalitarian, as she told us earlier in her talk.

"Usually people who wander in, they get tired and they go away," Clemetson said.

Getting to the Root

2008-11-08T13:32:00.006-05:00

The Root, a niche web magazine, was launched on January 28, two days before the South Carolina presidential primary. Assistant managing editor Lynette Clemetson says turned out to be the best year ever for a Web site that focuses on politics.

"Here we are, this week with President-elect Barack Obama," she told our writing for converged media class on Saturday.

Clemetson, a former New York Times and Newsweek correspondence with a masters degree in East Asian Studies, said The Root is owned by the Washington Post and serves up provocative commentary from a variety of black perspectives.

"Everybody is welcome to the party but you should know what you're getting when you come to the root," Clemetson said.

The idea for the site grew out of conversations between Henry Louis Gates, its managing editor and Don Graham, editor of Washington Post. Two men who Clemetson says "like good spirited debate."

The Root filled a void that had been missing, Web savvy black demographic that wasn't being served, she said. "We launched in the best year possible for a publication like the Root."

A Visit from TheRoot.Com

2008-11-08T11:15:00.001-05:00

About The Title

2008-11-06T21:09:00.007-05:00

"Old Broad in Training" is a title I wear proudly.
I wish I were clever enough to have dreamed it up. I did not.
That honor goes to the lovely and gracious Gail, a friend who gave it us "youngsters" who are lucky enough to rotate in her orbit. Gail is the person I want to be when I grow up. With her as a guide, I know I'm on the right track.
Old Broads in Training, as you may have figured out by now, is longhand for OBIT.

I'm an OBIT and my best female friends are OBITS.

Think of the term as the opposite of those "end-of-life" tributes stuck in the back pages of newspapers. But we are not patiently waiting for the end. We're a bunch of vibrant, enchanting, headstrong, humorous 50+ ladies (and a few 40-somethings) with big personalities and interesting lives (okay, we think so). We live in the present and embrace life, every day.
We're in training, every day, to live this way for the duration.

Hello World

2008-11-06T16:11:00.000-05:00

I'm trying something new. I hope it will be fun and I hope it will be an opportunity to help me get over my shyness and share my light with the world.